Unless you have been living under a rock or in an isolated island colony hiding out from the zombie apocalypse (#walkingdead), you will have noticed the fuss being made around banting and eating a high-fat, low-carb diet. Now whether or not Tim Noakes is a modern day Messiah who will single-handedly solve everyone’s weight and health issues or not, is a topic for another day and another blog post, but in my opinion the real benefit of this latest craze is far more revolutionary. Somehow, in all the banting madness, someone, somewhere managed to figure out a way to make Pizza healthy, and low-carb. Genuinely, and pleases, correct me if I’m wrong… but this is basically the realization of the “I have a dream” moment for healthy eating. I’ve been eating gluten and wheat-free for 3 years now, and when I was first diagnosed with this particular food allergy, I pretty much had to say goodbye to pizza at the same time. It’s not that there weren’t places offering gluten-free pizza bases, it’s just that these bases clearly had not been tested for human consumption. On a scale of one to cardboard, the majority of these gluten-free bases fell somewhere between sawdust and hardwood flooring, and no amount of cheese, parma ham or olives could make up for it. Now, if not having gluten-free bases available was a little fly in the ointment for Pizzerias, the increasing popularity of the banting diet must have been like a plague… of low-carb eating, fussy locusts flying past their doors.
I must apologize, at this point, for the thinly veiled biblical references. However, reviewing a restaurant like Chalk & Cork and the food they produce, which is as close to heaven on earth as it gets in real life, creatively speaking no other analogies would do it justice. Chalk & Cork are a relatively new little pizzas and tapas place on Kloof Street, Cape Town, opposite the Vida e Café. “But, what is this heavenly offering that they make?” I hear you ask. Well the answer to that question, young grasshopper (see how I’m switching it up here?) is… Cauliflower pizza bases.
These pizza bases are everything-except-taste free. They contain no gluten, no wheat, no carbs and absolutely no guilt. Now I have made an attempt at making cauliflower pizzas, which at one point involved just cutting my losses and eating the wax paper which had somehow become stuck to the cheesy, cauliflower base (#notevenkidding). Chalk & Cork are absolute pros, and they have somehow managed to nail their recipe to the point where you can even pick your slice up and eat it like normal people should eat pizza. They have four standard pizzas, and their special board offers up an extra delight (when I went the first time it was goat’s cheese, mint pesto and kale… I mean… can you even deal?)
You might be wondering, at this point, why there are not too many photos of this amazing culinary masterpiece of low-carb deliciousness. The first time I went, I was just so excited to eat my pizza that I forgot to take a photo. The second time that I went, I pumped the brakes long enough to take photos, but the majority of the photos that I took just did the pizza absolutely no justice, and to be honest, it would be sacrilegious to post anything that might detract from the pizza’s glory. I can’t adequately describe how the pizza I ate made me feel but the silence around the table while we were eating, punctuated only by the occasional “is this real?” is an indication that words really just aren’t good enough. You might also be thinking that I am completely over-rating the situation. I’m not. These pizzas are better than a normal pizza. Yes, bold statement – but true.
This empty plate does not belong to the hulk man, or to his equally large, fridge sized brother, nor is it the remnants of the 3rd pizza that they shared… it belongs to me. I ate the whole thing without batting an eyelash and was genuinely sad when it was finished. I put it in here so you can see what yours will look like, too.
Apart from their life-changing pizzas they also serve delicious tapas, main meals, wine, dessert and coffee. So go on, give them a try this week, disappointment is not on their menu.
You can access their website here or follow them on Twitter, Facebook and on Instagram.
They’re open Monday – Wednesday from 9am – 6pm and Thursday – Saturday from 9am – 10pm
PS if you’re not scared of Tim Noakes putting you on the naughty list, try their citrus cheese cake – it’s amazing.